Let us be men...

I was putting my file of letters and cards I have received over the years away...yes, the same one that Chelsees letter came from and I came across another letter...this one from Kendra.  It reminded me so much of my "get in the game" analogy that I thought it was worth sharing.  It is a mothers day letter.  I am not sure the year but it would have been within the last 3-4 years.  Here is a bit of the letter and the quote:

...a part of the letter from Kendra.

"Motherhood, and yours in particular, is no better described than this quote below.  Your unflinching devotion to my siblings and me is the silent example of "the [woman] who is actually in the arena."

From a speech given by Theodore Roosevelt in Paris...

"It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done better.  The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes short again and again, who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself (herself) in a worthy cause, who at best knows achievement and who at the worst if he fails at least fails while daring greatly so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat."

Now, my children have all heard this analogy and are perhaps weary of hearing it again.  But to those who may come across this entry I think it is a great comparison to life and I love it's clarity.  I must first give Pam Stenzel the credit for the thought.  She is a speaker that travels all around the world talking to youth about the dangers of sex before marriage and the physical and spiritual damage it can cause.  She has several videos.  The analogy comes from one of them.  In any sporting event there are two major types of people.  There is the "team" and there are the "spectators."  The team is made up of coaches and players, they are the ones playing the game.  The spectators are the ones watching, though they are full of opinions on how to play the game, their only real investment is possibly a t-shirt and a ticket.   The ones playing the game have several advantages over the spectator. 

1. They made the cut.  They made it on the team,  victory all by itself.
2. They spend countless hours getting and staying in shape.  They lift weights, run, practice and eat with winning the "game" as their motivation.
3. They study the game, understand the rules and memorize the plays.
4. They work as a team.  They think as a team.  They play as a team.
5. They get access to the playing field, with the exception of the occasional marching band or cheerleader, it is theirs, and theirs alone.  Spectators trying to storm the field are usually met with resistance.  
6. Most importantly..."to the victor goes the crown".  Every victory goes to the players on the field and to them alone.  Sometimes there will be losses, but at least they were in the game!

To those that scream from the sidelines about the coaching and the playing...I ask them one simple question..."How's the view from the cheap seats?"

I think of "Hollywood" protesting the marriage amendment...most of whom are not married themselves.  I think of those who stand in judgement of different faiths, condemning the commitment and sacrifice and yet making none themselves.  I recently heard a story of a man so upset about the location of the voting poll (not enough parking spaces) that he didn't vote! His chance to "be in the game" and he passed on it.

When I hear someone singing in church and find the quality is lacking...I remind myself..."at least they are in the game."  There is no better example of someone being the in the game then my husband.  He has no limits as to how hard he will work or what sacrifices he is willing to make.  There is no spectator in him.  Though sometimes he feels like he is losing,  at least he is "daring greatly and shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory or defeat."  I love him for so many reasons.  He is my best friend but even more than that, I respect him.  He has always "manned up" and that takes a lot of courage.  Happy Fathers Day Bob!  To my son and sons-in-laws...I wish you a wonderful day.   Your efforts to preside, provide, and protect do not go unnoticed.  I am grateful everyday for your courage and devotion to God and to my daughters and of course daughter-in-law!  

I cannot figure out how to paste a youtube video.  You can find it on the church's website: www.lds.org.  It is entitled "Let Us Be Men" by Todd Christiansen.  It is worth seeing.  You can also find it on youtube.  

Love Forever...

The meaning of Presidio...

Chelsee and Ben - top

Jessica - below



As we were choosing an address for this blog (Chelsee helped me get started) Bob came up with Presidio Garden.  It sounded good in light of the fact that we live on Presidio and I love to garden.  We looked it up and found that Presidio means "Fortress".  I began thinking of the fortresses we build to protect our families and ourselves.  Then I began thinking about the one I personally built for my family...  It had soft yellow walls, bright florals or fruit...hmmm...yes, I think it was fruit wallpaper in the kitchen, music always playing something soothing, flowers in the front, flowers in the back and laundry always going.  Then there are the holidays!  The sounds and smells of Christmas start around the beginning of October.  Our daughter Jessica once put her tree up in late October.   She gets that from me.  So my fortress wasn't built with bricks and mortar...it was pretty soft actually.  It was built on love.  This made me think of a letter I got for mothers day several years ago from Chelsee.  Yes, I keep everything people write to me because my "love language" is definately words of affirmation.  Here is a little excerpt from it.:

..."One of the things that I have carried most with me is that there aren't very many problems that can't be solved when a couple of candles are burning, the house is clean and soft beautiful music is playing.  The spirit resides there...THAT IS MY HAPPY PLACE!!!!!  You have inspired me to pass this on to my children...a new generation of Christi's I'm afraid.

For your sake I hope a candle is always burning in yourhome.  Because I know that is when you are happiest..."

I feel as though I have out smarted Satan in a most gentle way.   I tried to maintain a home of peace.  To all you young mothers out there... I say " I tried to maintain" because with six children things were not always orderly and clean.  It was a daily challenge!  One day off and you paid for days to get back back to order.  I knew that if our home was a sanctuary I could send them out fortified to fight the battles outside of it.  My inspiration...D&C 109:8

"Organize yourselves; prepare every needful thing, and establish a house, even a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order, a house of God."

But not all walls are built to protect.  There are some them imprison us.  The best scriptural example of this was how Capt. Moroni dealt with all the Lamanite prisoners.  Alma 53:5 Now Moroni was compelled to cause the Lamanites to labor, because it was easy to guard them while at their labor...  so Teancum, by order of Moroni puts them to work digging and placing "breastwork of timber" around the city of Bountiful.  Alma 53:4 ...thus they did cause the Lamanites to labor until they had encircled the city of Bountiful... and in verse 5...This city became an exceeding stronghold ever after; and in this city they did guard the prisoners of the Lamanites; yea, even within a wall which they had caused them to build with their own hands.

This wall imprisoned the Lamanites:

The root cause of much of what we struggle with is because we have built "prisons" for ourselves.  Consider pornography, debt, health, dishonesty, idleness, pride.  

This wall protected the Nephites:

We are encouraged to live within the bounds the Lord has set.  One foot outside God's law exposes us to dangers that could tear us down.  One foot...  

Today I would encourage anyone reading this to check your fortress for weak spots and then get busy repairing them.  There is so much at risk.  To my children, I need you to build a fortress for my grandchildren.  Being one generation removed I can only have so much influence.  Be the parents God needs you to be and bring those little ones home to him.

You know I love you...

It seems as though my blog has a lot about Annie.  It has been an eventful few weeks and now we have her settled into BYUH.  The week was full of different adventures.  Bob had only one rule.  If it had blue in it (water or sky) he could not participate...only in the green (driving in the car and sight seeing).  Our first full day was Sunday and so we spent it driving and exploring the island of Oahu.  We eventually made our way to the campus and drove around to get a feel for it.  It is a beautiful campus but smaller than I had anticipated.  The landscape was beautiful and the ocean just across the street wasn't bad either.  We were able to see the Hawaii Temple.  To Annies disappointment it is closed until 2010.  But the grounds were awesome and a great place to get some quiet which is Annies favorite thing next to hangin with her fam.  Annie and I spent several days walking the beach and eating...yes...hamburgers by the pool.  I confess I did not like Waikiki very much.  Though it was not that busy, it was packed with hotels and shops. There would be no authentic Hawaiin experience in this location.  In part of our "green" activities we found a beautiful beach on the other side of the island and made it a point to return the next day.  Annie and I went ocean kayaking.  We were pros until the very end when we got parallel to a wave and capsized.  OK, the ocean there is VERY salty!  Bob laid on a blanket under a large tree in the shade.  He burnt anyway.  

We flew to the big island of Hawaii and drove all the way around it...yes all the way around it.  I can see why no one likes to vacation there.  It was a giant island made up of black lava.  On the Kona side of the island it was desolate.  Bob was so excited to see this island but upon our return in his prayers he openly admits it was a disappointment by saying..."and thank you that we could arrive back safe from that big ugly island."  I concur.  The next day was great because Annie and I were able to go parasailing.  She got to go up twice because there was a 25 year old Russian man that did not have a companion and it was a two seater.  The ocean out that far and so high was so beautiful.  I was a little disappointed that it took no skill.  I cannot brag of bravery because it took none.  Then the dreaded day of taking Annie to school came.  She was nervous, I knew what was ahead for me emotionally.  We arrived on campus at 3:00 to find that part of the campus had shut down early on freshman orientation...they said it was "Aloha Friday", which means we get to go home before all the freshman are organized.  So we spent the rest of our precious two hours left and made sure she could eat, get into her room and paid her tuition.  She would have to handle the rest all by herself.  Saying goodbye was just as hard as the first time I had to do it with Jessica...it just never got easier.   The hardest moment was when we were taking off.  I felt the plane lift I knew I had left the land in which Annie would be living.  It felt as though the umbilical cord was being severed for the last time.  I was trying to suppress my silent sobs when at the very second the plane lifted off I got a text from her.  This is what is said... "I love you so much.  I am fine, all is well and I have full confidence that I will soar beautifully through the next few months".   God does send his tender mercies at just the right moment.  And now I am home and adjusting to an empty nest.  So the truth is...it's not that bad.  I am rather enjoying the quiet without worry of where my child is and when they will be home.  Perhaps I will grow weary of the silence but for now I am doing better then expected...another tender mercy.  

The mountain behind Annie is where the final battle for a united Hawaii took place.  The opposing tribe was forced to the edge of these cliffs and they all fell to their deaths.  History is gruesome sometimes.