Give me wisdom...

It has been a while since I last wrote on this blog.  Since we have been home from China there have been a few challenges which make my heart heavy.  My husband is shouldering the world it seems as he works day and night to wrestle with the effects of the economy on our business. I struggle between two thoughts... 

1. Are we holding on to what is slippery and all that that implies about Gods will in our lives?
2. Is our steel being tested and is giving up Satan's victory?

What council do I give Bob?  I can justify both thoughts. 

Our daughter Katy has just lost her best friend, one she had hoped would be hers for for ever. How do you comfort a child's heart when it is broken like that?  The first and obvious words of council is to help her feel that she is better off, that God has a better plan for her but it is hard, in times like these, for the brain to reason with the heart.  If I have learned anything is this life, it is that the answer is rarely that obvious and is always elevated from worldly reasoning.  

One of the phrases from my current "favorite" songs says this...

"Lord grant me thy abiding love and make my turmoil cease". (Hymn "Oh May My Soul Commune with Thee)

So to Bob and Katy (and to all those who are suffering) I pray for the Lords abiding love to bring them peace and hope that their "turmoil may cease".  

 

As always...I love you

Christi and Mom

 

The Great Wall of China

Photo #1 - Yes, we cheated

Photo #2 - Yes, Dad and I thought we were in Hawaii...

Photo #3  - Yes, China needs help on their english translations for their signs...  I tried to resist adding this one but my humor won.

The Great Wall of China!  I called Katy but realized it was like 3 in the morning...sorry Katy!  Then I called Annie and talked to her!  Amazing phone service.

We were finally into some flora and fauna!  It was beautiful and slightly cooler.  Enjoy the pics.

I think I'm a rock star...

One of the interesting things that kept happening is that people would randomly ask Sunny if they could have their picture with me.  I think they thought I was famous.  Sunny finally asked me if she needed to get my autograph because she said this just never happens.  I assured her that I was not famous.  She was convince that they could feel my "spirit" and were drawn to it.  I don't know about that but later on we came across another photo op...and this is where I realized that I was not a rock star but the Empress of China!

OK, the truth is I was dying of heat and that robe was very hot and all I could think of is how many other people had worn this...dying of heat...gross. 

It was a hard sale...my being the Empress.  It think it is because of my hair color...and skin color and that I am considered large compared to these tiny women here in Asia.  Good thing the robe was one size fits all! 

The Forbidden City

This top photo is where the Emperor slept in the summer to keep cool.  All the stone was quarried from the bottom of a lake.  They apparently don't have a lot of stone in Beijing!

On front and back of every building entrance dragons were carved into the stone.  They are BIG on Dragons!  At the corner of every eave they had them carved as well. One large dragon and his sons in front with a little man to "drive" them to heaven.  Not sure on the translation of that.  I think that's what Sunny said!

The exterior wall that surrounded the Forbidden City.  It was huge.  It also had a mote around it to further protect the palace.

My experience here taught me much about the life of the Emperor and his family.  They lived a very secluded life even from each other.  The protocol was very strict.  The Emperor must have been a very lonely man.  Very few people, including his wives could see him without a ceremony or event.  I don't know what the inside of this city looked liked then but it was a lot of stone...every where.  I was a bit disappointed to find that there were no gardens to speak of.  A few trees and very little grass.  Beijing is actually very hot in the summer with little rain.  That is why they built the Summer Palace.  It was their attempt at getting away from the heat.  It seemed just as hot to me at both locations!  Each building has a purpose and a saying over each door.  Some were for celebrating, some for politics, some for worship, some for gathering, some for reading, some for holding court and counsels.  Lining the city walls 

were the buildings that housed the army and the servants.  I tried to remember all the history of the buildings as Sunny was teaching me but there were so many buildings and not enough memory!  I decided if I really wanted to know I would just go buy the book!  It was my first glimpse into the belief system of the Chinese people.  With communism, much of it is not practiced which is a shame.  It seems that Buddha had some things right.  

What I enjoyed most were the 

conversations Sunny and I had about our lives.  She is getting married next February during the Spring Festival. Over the two days we spent together I marveled at how similar we all are regardless of our customs and cultures.  She wants to be happily married and raise a child and wanted advice as to how to do that.   Our hopes and dreams are the same even on the other side of the world.  It was a sweet reminder of how grateful I am for my faith and my family and how I could not have one without the other.  I think everyone we met were intrigued by our life, six children, 10 grandchildren, 31 years of marriage, our Mormon faith.  There were so many opportunities to "see" the gospel in our lives that talking about it was easy because they kept asking.  

Summer Palace with Sunny

Top Photo: This is the top of the Summer Palace.  Inside the round building is the famous statue of the women with seven heads and 24 arms!

Bottom Photo: Sunny and me on our way up to the of the mountain.

We are fresh home from China with great memories and experiences.  A new country is always intimidating for me, especially when the language is so foreign.  I am grateful for the warm welcome and care given to us by those we were meeting with.  Since my visit was more in support of Bob I had made plans to work on projects in my hotel room while he went to his meetings.  To my surprise and with some anxiety they had arranged a chaperone by the name of Sunny for me.  We joked that she was to be my protector as she probably weighed in at 95 lbs. and stood 5 feet.  She was to stay with me as long as I needed her.  I think I was more nervous about having to carry on a conversation with her as I was to venture out into the historical sights of Beijing.  Sunny was gracious and soon we were fast friends.  She had a good handle on the history of the Forbidden City and the Summer Palace and I learned much about Buddhism and the different dynasties that ruled China for so long.   I thought what a contrast to modern day Beijing.  So much of what they believe is about harmony, peace, union, prosperity.  As we climbed to the top of the Summer Palace and looked over the great city of Beijing I wandered what Buddha would have thought and the Emperors that lived by his teachings.  Sunny then told me about her grandparents making the pilgrimage to the top of the summer palace where Emperors went alone to pray for their people.  Her grandparents were both in their 80's and the hike up is pretty intense.  Her grandfather was determined to make that journey so that, as the patriarch, he could pray for his family.  So one step at a time and for much of the day they climbed those hundreds of stairs.  In the middle of all the tourists and commerce going on around him, he had his sacred moment.  He continues to practice his faith when most have forgotten or have never been taught.  It was a powerful story for me about enduring to the end and being in the world and not of it.  

Let us be men...

I was putting my file of letters and cards I have received over the years away...yes, the same one that Chelsees letter came from and I came across another letter...this one from Kendra.  It reminded me so much of my "get in the game" analogy that I thought it was worth sharing.  It is a mothers day letter.  I am not sure the year but it would have been within the last 3-4 years.  Here is a bit of the letter and the quote:

...a part of the letter from Kendra.

"Motherhood, and yours in particular, is no better described than this quote below.  Your unflinching devotion to my siblings and me is the silent example of "the [woman] who is actually in the arena."

From a speech given by Theodore Roosevelt in Paris...

"It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done better.  The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes short again and again, who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself (herself) in a worthy cause, who at best knows achievement and who at the worst if he fails at least fails while daring greatly so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat."

Now, my children have all heard this analogy and are perhaps weary of hearing it again.  But to those who may come across this entry I think it is a great comparison to life and I love it's clarity.  I must first give Pam Stenzel the credit for the thought.  She is a speaker that travels all around the world talking to youth about the dangers of sex before marriage and the physical and spiritual damage it can cause.  She has several videos.  The analogy comes from one of them.  In any sporting event there are two major types of people.  There is the "team" and there are the "spectators."  The team is made up of coaches and players, they are the ones playing the game.  The spectators are the ones watching, though they are full of opinions on how to play the game, their only real investment is possibly a t-shirt and a ticket.   The ones playing the game have several advantages over the spectator. 

1. They made the cut.  They made it on the team,  victory all by itself.
2. They spend countless hours getting and staying in shape.  They lift weights, run, practice and eat with winning the "game" as their motivation.
3. They study the game, understand the rules and memorize the plays.
4. They work as a team.  They think as a team.  They play as a team.
5. They get access to the playing field, with the exception of the occasional marching band or cheerleader, it is theirs, and theirs alone.  Spectators trying to storm the field are usually met with resistance.  
6. Most importantly..."to the victor goes the crown".  Every victory goes to the players on the field and to them alone.  Sometimes there will be losses, but at least they were in the game!

To those that scream from the sidelines about the coaching and the playing...I ask them one simple question..."How's the view from the cheap seats?"

I think of "Hollywood" protesting the marriage amendment...most of whom are not married themselves.  I think of those who stand in judgement of different faiths, condemning the commitment and sacrifice and yet making none themselves.  I recently heard a story of a man so upset about the location of the voting poll (not enough parking spaces) that he didn't vote! His chance to "be in the game" and he passed on it.

When I hear someone singing in church and find the quality is lacking...I remind myself..."at least they are in the game."  There is no better example of someone being the in the game then my husband.  He has no limits as to how hard he will work or what sacrifices he is willing to make.  There is no spectator in him.  Though sometimes he feels like he is losing,  at least he is "daring greatly and shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory or defeat."  I love him for so many reasons.  He is my best friend but even more than that, I respect him.  He has always "manned up" and that takes a lot of courage.  Happy Fathers Day Bob!  To my son and sons-in-laws...I wish you a wonderful day.   Your efforts to preside, provide, and protect do not go unnoticed.  I am grateful everyday for your courage and devotion to God and to my daughters and of course daughter-in-law!  

I cannot figure out how to paste a youtube video.  You can find it on the church's website: www.lds.org.  It is entitled "Let Us Be Men" by Todd Christiansen.  It is worth seeing.  You can also find it on youtube.  

Love Forever...

The meaning of Presidio...

Chelsee and Ben - top

Jessica - below



As we were choosing an address for this blog (Chelsee helped me get started) Bob came up with Presidio Garden.  It sounded good in light of the fact that we live on Presidio and I love to garden.  We looked it up and found that Presidio means "Fortress".  I began thinking of the fortresses we build to protect our families and ourselves.  Then I began thinking about the one I personally built for my family...  It had soft yellow walls, bright florals or fruit...hmmm...yes, I think it was fruit wallpaper in the kitchen, music always playing something soothing, flowers in the front, flowers in the back and laundry always going.  Then there are the holidays!  The sounds and smells of Christmas start around the beginning of October.  Our daughter Jessica once put her tree up in late October.   She gets that from me.  So my fortress wasn't built with bricks and mortar...it was pretty soft actually.  It was built on love.  This made me think of a letter I got for mothers day several years ago from Chelsee.  Yes, I keep everything people write to me because my "love language" is definately words of affirmation.  Here is a little excerpt from it.:

..."One of the things that I have carried most with me is that there aren't very many problems that can't be solved when a couple of candles are burning, the house is clean and soft beautiful music is playing.  The spirit resides there...THAT IS MY HAPPY PLACE!!!!!  You have inspired me to pass this on to my children...a new generation of Christi's I'm afraid.

For your sake I hope a candle is always burning in yourhome.  Because I know that is when you are happiest..."

I feel as though I have out smarted Satan in a most gentle way.   I tried to maintain a home of peace.  To all you young mothers out there... I say " I tried to maintain" because with six children things were not always orderly and clean.  It was a daily challenge!  One day off and you paid for days to get back back to order.  I knew that if our home was a sanctuary I could send them out fortified to fight the battles outside of it.  My inspiration...D&C 109:8

"Organize yourselves; prepare every needful thing, and establish a house, even a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order, a house of God."

But not all walls are built to protect.  There are some them imprison us.  The best scriptural example of this was how Capt. Moroni dealt with all the Lamanite prisoners.  Alma 53:5 Now Moroni was compelled to cause the Lamanites to labor, because it was easy to guard them while at their labor...  so Teancum, by order of Moroni puts them to work digging and placing "breastwork of timber" around the city of Bountiful.  Alma 53:4 ...thus they did cause the Lamanites to labor until they had encircled the city of Bountiful... and in verse 5...This city became an exceeding stronghold ever after; and in this city they did guard the prisoners of the Lamanites; yea, even within a wall which they had caused them to build with their own hands.

This wall imprisoned the Lamanites:

The root cause of much of what we struggle with is because we have built "prisons" for ourselves.  Consider pornography, debt, health, dishonesty, idleness, pride.  

This wall protected the Nephites:

We are encouraged to live within the bounds the Lord has set.  One foot outside God's law exposes us to dangers that could tear us down.  One foot...  

Today I would encourage anyone reading this to check your fortress for weak spots and then get busy repairing them.  There is so much at risk.  To my children, I need you to build a fortress for my grandchildren.  Being one generation removed I can only have so much influence.  Be the parents God needs you to be and bring those little ones home to him.

You know I love you...