"We are always teaching..."

a house of order...

It was a year ago that Bob had had a conversation with our Stake President about an activity we had wanted to have with our Arboleda Branch youth. Every Fast Sunday we have a "Noche de Crepas" with the YM and YW. This particular Sunday was unusual because it was not only crepe night but the Super Bowl. We lamented over what to do. Watch the game with them, forget the game or postpone until the next week. Pres. Ostler simply counseled "We are always teaching." So we had our crepe night in conflict with the game. I don't remember if we had a low YM turnout. It doesn't matter. The words "we are always teaching" comes up often as we make decisions with our calling and as parents.

After I finished reading this morning my heart remembered this counsel and so I want to share some thoughts.

In D&C 93 it teaches us first of light, then of learning, then of teaching.

Light:

2: Christ is the "true light that lighteth everyman that cometh into the world."

Learn:

28:He that keepeth his commandments receiveth truth and light, until he is glorified in truth and knoweth all things.

So bottom line...keep the commandments and there are more then twelve. We are commanded in many things. And this is the command given in 93 that is so important, especially to you parents raising kids now...

Teach:

40: But I have commanded you to bring up your children in light and truth

Now Frederick Williams is getting chewed up a bit here:

42: Ye have not taught your children light and truth, according to the commandments; and that wicked one hath power as yet, over you, and this is the cause of your affliction... "set in order your own house, for there are many things that are not right in your house..." Joseph Smith gets rebuked and then Newel Whitney on the same issue. It is safe to say that this would include all of us on some level. I can't teach if I don't know, and I can't know unless I am obedient. This is the condition of "light and truth." And here is the guide: D&C 109:7-8

Organize yourselves; prepare every needful thing, and establish a house, even

a house of prayer,

a house of fasting,

a house of faith,

a house of learning,

a house of glory,

a house of order,

a house of God.

Take a deep breath... I know it sounds simpler then it is. Never get discouraged or give up. Be the light...so they can see the way.

Loves...

Wall Street Journal..."Did I Get Married Too Soon"?

December 16th 1977

November 2009

I was 19 (almost 20), Bob was 21 and recently home from his mission when we got married. We knew each other in High School...sort of. He had a girlfriend (that would be you Judy) and I was two years younger and didn't really run in his circle. It was April of 1977 and I had just gotten home from a year at BYU when I saw him at a dance festival. We technically met for the first

time, we dated, we broke up (actually he dumped me) and then we got back together (three days later he regretted dumping me). Our first date was the first of June, we were engaged by October and married by December. There is a love story between these lines but that is not why I am writing this entry. Bob received an article in the Wall Street Journal written by a staff member at Institute for American Values entitled "Did I Get Married Too Soon?" To both pro and con advocates I will be really honest. There were times I thought I had. I loved Bob and wanted to marry him so I did. I had a Hollywood idea of what marriage would be like and found out that it is much easier create a love story in an 1 1/2 hours on a movie screen then to create one in real life. Only one night at the movies and you have wives all over

the world saying to their husbands..."Why aren't you more like Edward!!!" I haven't read the books or seen the movies but I associate with enough young women and grown women alike to know it has had a damaging impact on their idea of what love really is. Vampires....really? I once heard a women lecturing on this subject. She was trying to help detox her daughter from the effects of the movie "Titanic". I remember one of my daughters (it was Kendra and her friend Katy Slade) coming home with her friend, both being in tears over the death of Leonardo DiCaprio in the movie. Kate and Leonardo...now they had a real love story. She then went on to say, "It's a good thing that boy died because the minute he hit shore he would have been gone." I laughed at her brutal honesty on the subject. My biggest problem in getting married so young was that I was immature.I dove head first into a world where I had to be selfless, loyal, hard working, careful with money, careful with words. The list goes on and on.

What I know now that I didn't know then is that I made the right choice...for me. What I could not see then, I see so clearly now. I saw it this week when I went to lunch with a young friend of mine that has been married only 9 months. The transformation is taking place in her and she is beautiful. How do you best teach a young woman service. Place her newborn child in her arms.

(Jessica as a baby. I don't remember everything being so orange and that I have no pictures of her and I when she was a newborn baby!)

How do you teach a young woman selflessness? Support a husband through the countless hours of school and/or work. Even sweeter is if he knows he is coming home to a wife that greets him with an understanding spirit and a warmed up plate of dinner. How do you teach a young woman about order and clean. Let her experience the chaos of a dirty home and piled up laundry. She learns quickly the virtue of hard work and sees the spirit of peace in her home when she creates a house of order. I was so busy developing these skills out of necessity (usually due to a lack of funds), that I didn't notice the incremental growth along the way. I did not have the wisdom at 19 to know this but at 52 it is as clear as day.

I told my husband on our date last night that I came up with the perfect analogy for this article. I was told once that the best way to get through your day was to start with the challenging things first so that your evenings are peaceful. It is true of marriage and family. Start while you are young and fresh and full of energy. Grow and stretch through your eternal progression. Rid yourself of all the human tendencies that make you miserable. Life will never be without it's challenges, old or young, but my life is more peaceful now. I am content and love sharing the "evenings" with my husband. It is so much sweeter than I had anticipated. So here's to 32 years and growing up together.

In the dirt with Grandma.

I got to watch Elli and Wesley the other day while Jessica ran some errands. I had some gardening and thought "What a perfect activity for my grandkids! I'll get so much done and we'll have so much fun doing it!" OK, We had a lot of fun.

Elli insisted on raking the pots we had just planted. We lost a little dirt but the plants survived.

Wesley said that only blue gloves would do. Thank heavens Targets marketing team agreed with him.

First an old fashioned picnic...except I got the food at Wendys which technically makes it not so old fashioned. I could have fried up some chicken and made some potato salad but why?

Gender gardening tools. Gotta love Target.

Wesley got the hang of it and lasted about 2 mintues. Elli's contribution was raking the stone. But who cares, her entire ensemble was color coordinates...pink and green...what else matters?

Zero tolerance for dirt in her shoes. She did this more than worked in it...

But look! We have matching shoes! Mine are on the left I am embarrassed to admit. It's my Mom's fault. I guess with two of us to cook (I'm a twin) she just got tired and didn't finish my feet.

Nature calls. I just wished it hadn't been in the bed we were just about to work in!

So the gardening didn't last long. Next up...running in the sprinklers!

A final shot of the work...I did. My grandkids contribution...not to pull it all out! Great day

To be chosen by a good man,,,

I want my daughters to be beautiful, accomplished and good;

to be admired, loved, and respected; to have a happy youth,

to be well and wisely married, and to lead useful, pleasant lives,

with as little care and sorrow to try them as God sees fit to send.

To be loved and chosen by a good man is the best and sweetest thing which can happen to a woman; and I sincerely hope my girls may know this beautiful experience...

Louisa May Alcott

"Little Woman"

Bob, thank you for choosing me all those years ago and for reminding me everyday that I am the best thing that ever happened to you. I feel the same about you. I love you.

Happy Valentines Day

Here's looking at you kid...

So first I must confess that I'm not a big dog lover. I grew up loving all our Pekinese dogs, all named Peppy so it seemed odd that that natural affection left me. Somehow the responsibilities of raising a large family was all I could do. We did get a few dogs for the kids. It was their job to do all the work...you know where this is going. This dog was suppose to teach them responsibility etc etc. It ended up just adding to mine. So...it was on one of those mornings after all the kids were off to school that I called up the want ads and offered our Cocker Spaniel...for free. I began taking phone calls and by the next morning I had found a kind older woman that wanted the companionship and of the dog. It took three days before any of our kids notice.

This is not a story about a dog. It is the story of compassion. Chelsee and Ben had first alerted me to the fact that their was a stray dog running around the area. They could never get close enough to catch it but always left food out in the event it got brave enough to come close. Then one evening as Bob and I were walking around the yard we turned the corner to our back yard and there was the stray dog, settled onto our patio couch, comfy as could be. I tried to approach it but it ran off. As it did so we noticed that it was limping and that it had left a blood stain on the couch. I felt sorry for the little guy but he was gone and that was that. The next day I visited with some of the neighbors and found that they had been trying for weeks to get close enough to help. That evening as we were eating dinner I turned to see him again, perched on our couch outside. This time Bob stayed inside and I went out to see if I could help it. I spent the next thirty minutes just inching my way closer and closer. There was a lot of growling involved but the minute we made eye contact, that was that. We were friends at last. We were leaving for Salt Lake City the next day and so we asked Ben and Chelsee to keep an eye out for him. I knew he would not stay. Much to our surprise, on our way out the door for the airport, there he was waiting for me. We arranged with Ben and Chelsee to get him to a vet and by the end of the weekend he had a collar, a name and a home. We were discussing this at dinner in Utah and the theory that if you want to establish authority over a dog you should not make eye contact. I had heard of this before. I thought to myself how difficult it would be to bond with an animal if you never looked into their eyes. For that matter, bond with anyone. Eyes tell so much.

Ben named him Buddy.

Much to our surprise, Buddy knew all kinds of trick, the first we discovered was shaking hands.

We tried to tape a sock on his wounded foot to keep him from touching it. That lasted maybe 30 minutes!

Not sure if he's a mix or not but he is a beautiful dog all the same.

Ben and Buddy are best friends.

Home Sweet Home~

The Pros and Cons of Christmas...

The best part of Christmas...

Brad comes out to create a little chaos and fun with a snowball fight. Well, it was fun for Brad.

Katy bundled up all the kids and took them out to play in the snow. They are getting warm in the treehouse.

Christmas Eve PJ's. Katy's and Annies were onesies that were "form fitting". We had to get creative on the angle of the camera.

The only serious picture they took...

Gingerbread house made by the grandkids. It looked nothing like the picture on the box.

It has been some time since I have posted. I will blame it on Christmas. For all my silent (well, I'm not always silent about it) complaining about the stress of this holiday I seem never to have the courage to do anything about it. I love the family time but the endless lists of what not to forget distracts me. The closest I got to the "true meaning of Christmas" was attending Chelsee's sacrament Christmas program. She sang "Mary's Lullaby". Her voice brings life back into a tired song. They quoted some of Hollands talk about the man Joseph and the woman Mary. I was reminded of the strength of character they had by submitting to their part of the "plan". His humility and courage, her obedience and...courage. We see the circumstances into which the Savior was born and are in awe of it's symbolism. A baby, a humble manger, shepherds and no one to help Mary but Joseph. But I wonder if Mary looked at the condition in which she was to bring the Savior into the world and feel like this surely was not the plan. Did Joseph wonder "Why in Bethlehem and why now?" Why not in Nazareth where Mary's mom was? Two thousand years later and we still deal with the same perplexing questions. Why here?Why now? Is this a part of the plan...really? And so we learn from those that have gone before us how to follow in faith.

We did have our first official nativity program with our grandchildren. Unfortunately I could not find my camera until after it was over. It was darling. Our only challenge was that Cole (one of the wise men) kept trying to pick up the baby Jesus. Kenedi tried to stop him at which he protested..."No Mary!!!" Elli was the angel and she stood in front with her back to us to watch the little play and Chancy got stage fright. Other then that, Ethan made a great Joseph by putting his arm around Mary and making sure she was settled in. Mary (Kenedi) was careful to place Jesus (a stuffed animal, I'm going to have to work on that for next year) in the basket. Wesley played the part of the other wise man to perfection. A special thanks goes to the directors, producers and costume designers...Chelsee, Katy and Annie.

And now the new year which always comes seamlessly. Can't really tell the difference to tell you the truth but it does motivate me to think about my life and what needs to be improved. Bob and I are coming up with a bucket list. Bob's is about things he wants to accomplish and mine is about things I want to do. Interesting...

How was your Christmas?

This is not about flowers but I thought I'd share some of my cuttings from my rose garden with you. Wish you were here to smell them!

This is actually about a surprise trip Chelsee and I made to Kentucky to be with our sweet young friend as she gave birth to her first child. Meghan (Linnell) Nielson has been a part of our family since Chelsee and her were in Jr. High. They bonded at girls camp and have been best friends ever since. That is their story. My story is that I have loved Meghan with a mothers heart since the beginning. I watched her grow from pre-teen to beautiful young woman to now a radiant wife and mother. She inspired me with her strength through her storms. She has a calm sweet spirit that is no nonsense. It was good to see into her and Bryces world so far away from Arizona.

After our surprise visit on Monday night we took Bryce and Meghan out for dinner at Cheesecake factory...her last meal!

Our bed and breakfast was amazing. It was like going home every night or early morning as the little guy didn't want to show up until the early morning hours of Wednesday

Here we are Tuesday morning having just arrived at the hospital. Megs is on petocin but feeling no pains yet. I knew we were in for a long day at that point. Little did I know it would go into the next day!

Finally he arrives! Meghan was so calm and level through it all. He ended up being to big to deliver naturally so they had to do a C Section. He was a chunk! He weight 9lbs. 3 oz. and was 20 inches long. Even his forehead was chubby!

Babys first kiss from Mommy

Introducing the new Nielson addition...Dax.

I am so proud of this young couple. They are doing so well as they begin their life together. I will always cherish our time together this November 2009.

Much love...