Come To My Garden

It's been a year...and time to get ready for twins in Syracuse!

2011-10-24T13:27:00.000-07:00

I made a quick to trip to see Kendra and Nathan in Syracuse New York this October (2011) to help set up for the arrival of our twin grand daughter and grand son. We were going to paint the walls a pail yellow but decided to go with the white on white with a touch of green and orange.. You will see the pictures as we our project evolved. I experienced my first Craigs List adventure...pretty cool and found a JoAnns that was closing its doors so most everything was 75% off! We It was quite a whirl wind for three days but we got the nursery finished with one hour to spare before I leave for the airport to head home! I know there are some of you anxious to see our finished product so here it is. I'm pretty sure Nathan still loves me but I am also certain he will be happy to have peace and quite reside once again in their home. So enjoy it Nathan because come come Dec/Jan it's all but over!

It was finally

Two new additions

2010-10-25T09:01:00.000-07:00

Ry Tyler Worsley and William Brayden Hunt

Braydon is waiting just around the corner...

2010-10-17T07:09:00.000-07:00

Here he is!!!!

7 lbs. exactly

20.5 inches

10:40 am

OK, I just posted but they just checked her and she is at an 8! A little of the cervic is hanging on but the nurse can feel his head and said it won't be long before she starts pushing. Chelsee is really feeling this so they upped the dose. Not helping much. I change my time to 10:45!

The nurse just suggested with all this Brayden following that we start a college fund. You can deposit your donations into Kristen Sanders bank account. She promises not to spend it on a Christmas gift for Christi...or Ben (he made me say that).

Chelsees Halloween Costume...Darth Vadors Good Twin Sister. Actually, the baby has not responded to the stress very well and so the nurses here have tried to help him out with some oxygen. It has worked perfectly. His heart beat is going strong. She was really having issues with shaking and wanting to throw up so they gave her some kind of drug and sat her up and she feels all better! His head is a stage 0 which means it is resting on the cervix. She can feel each contraction enough to know it is there and they are very close together. Her greatest discomfort is just the intense pressure which is just going to get worse!

Dad and Mom awaiting Brayden's birth.

So Chelsee was suppose to go in to be induced 24 hours ago but the hospital was slammed with other deliveries so we were put in a holding pattern ALL DAY! By evening we just decided to go to bed and hope we could get some sleep. That seemed to do the trick because at 11:30pm Ben came to our room and said the hospital called and they finally had a room. We should have gone to bed at noon. So we got here around 12:30 and she was put on the drip around 2:00. Ben, Kristen and I took turns fight over who got the couch/bed or the up-right chair. Much to our surprise at around 5:00 am Dr. Huish showed up! He came in and found that she was at a 4 and 80% effaced and then broke her water! He does not mess around. That went quickly and I told Chelsee she needed to order that epidural STAT! And I was correct! She started feeling the real contractions right away. The epidural didn't seem to go as smoothly as I have seen before. She seemed to be in a lot of pain but she was strong and calm through the whole thing! It is now almost 6:30 and the sun is just at the horizon. Kristen has been great about texting everyone. So now that you are all awake we will keep you posted through text and my blog. Here are some pictures as we began this process of bringing baby Brayden into the world. He's going to have red hair. Just wait and see.

Our best guess on when he will arrive:

Kristen - 11:00

Ben - 12:00

Christi - I think they are pretty close so I'll go with 11:30.

Anyone can join the contest by just commenting.

Hospital

Bens brought his pillow and looks like Chelsee did too...

Just settled in for the long haul

It was soooo cold in the room.Thankfully everyone agreed with me. We are now defrosted and listening so some of Chelsees concerns. They are many. Here is the latest:

"What if the drug from the epidural goes to my heart and stops it?"

She is just like her Dad wanting to watch the monitor the whole time. She is finally settled down and going to sleep. She will need it for what's coming up.

We just skyped with Meagan Nielson and now Kristen is doing her hair.

More a little later.

This is the first picture of Chelsee pregnant I could get! She is due in two days. I will be posting "appropriate" pictures in the hospital to keep everyone informed. Now I am going to wake Chelsee up and find a trampoline...get this show on the road!

Magnolia...

2010-10-16T21:31:00.000-07:00

To Kristen Sanders:

My daughters BFF

My adopted daughter

My Hair Stylist

My Inspiration!

Opening your own salon took some real courage and I just want you to know I am so proud of you!

Thanks for making me feel beautiful and covering the gray!

Loves Forever...

Kristen Sanders

480.299.2409

Salon Magnolia

Located in Vintage Studios

1511 S. Higley Rd. Suite 101

Gilbert, AZ 85296

Enter...Ry Tyler Worsley

2010-10-10T16:38:00.000-07:00

Favorite Picture of Mom and Son

Weight

Can you say..."I hope they call me on a mission?"

Dad and Son

Grandma

Grandpa

One month old...

Today my YWs lesson was more for me...

2010-08-22T14:09:00.000-07:00

I was giving a lesson today in which we discussed Helen Keller. She asked a young girl what her observations were after a walk in the woods. The girl replied, "Nothing in particular." Her response was:

"At times my heart cries out with longing to see all these things with physical eyes but if I can get so much pleasure from mere touch, how much more beauty must be revealed in sight. And I have imagined what I should most like to see if I were granted the use of my eyes - even for three days!"

The question was then posed, what would you like to see?

So I made a video for my class so they could see what I would want to see first. It helped me remember what matters most.

It's a jungle but someone has to go there...

2010-08-02T22:22:00.000-07:00

It's a jungle out there...in Hawaii

Hawaii Summer 2010. It was beautiful, both the weather and the islands. Bob had a Board of Directors meeting and so we stayed a few extra days and enjoyed our time together. I love traveling with my husband. He is full of adventure. As for me, we would have laid around a pool and drank virgin pina coladas and read a good book. Which is exactly what I did the day after this little sight seeing trip.

Out of all the pictures this is my favorite. Why? Because it reminds of the moment I stuck my foot into that cold stream. The water was cold and the day was warm. So refreshing.

Beautiful flora and fauna. I still love roses more...

These black swans were at our resort on Kauai. I thought they were ugly compare to the white ones by the restaurant where we had our breakfast. Little did I know that these black swans are quite rare and are symbolic. I have copied an explanation below. Seems that a black swan represents a circumstance when events are rare, have extreme impact, and in retrospect they are predictable...sounds like our failing economy.

"What we call here a Black Swan is an event with the following three attributes. First, it is an outlier, as it lies outside the realm of regular expectations, because nothing in the past can convincingly point to its possibility. Second, it carries an extreme impact. Third, in spite of its outlier status, human nature makes us concoct explanations for its occurrence after the fact, making it explainable and predictable. I stop and summarize the triplet: rarity, extreme impact, and retrospective (though not prospective) predictability. A small number of Black Swans explains almost everything in our world, from the success of ideas and religions, to the dynamics of historical events, to elements of our own personal lives."

I wanted to make note of my experience yesterday. All the youth in our branch and ward went to Randolf for church. It's a facility for the severely to moderately handicapped. The youth of 48 stakes participate by assignment making it once every four years that a ward is able to attend. Having been in the youth program for so long I have had the opportunity four times. The amazing thing is that I have been assigned to the same cottage and the same woman every time I have gone. Her name is Judy and we must be kindred spirits. I was shocked when they walked me to her cottage ... again. As I opened the door there she sat ready for me to take her to "church" in the gymnasium. There are 100 patients that attend the meeting making it 1/100 chances I would get her...now times that by four. She is tiny and only whispers. I could not take my arm off from around her before she would put it right back again. Beneath her limitations was a brilliant spirit and someday I hope to be able to visit with her when she can tell me why I was always chosen to be her "friend" on those sacred sweet sabbath days.

Lael, our daughter-in-law is in the hospital at 33 weeks trying to keep her little boy inside just a bit longer. We have the kids for the next several weeks. I am so excited to see this sweet new boy coming into our lives and then another in October. With five daughters I thought Heaven only rained little girls but these two little guys added to our other grandsons makes 9...and of course our three beautiful grandaughters.

I will post pictures of Ry Tyler when he comes...hopefully not too soon.

2010-06-06T19:34:00.000-07:00

A sweet farewell Dad...

My Dad passed away two weeks ago tomorrow. It has been a long difficult journey watching him suffer with Alzheimers and even harder to watch his last remaining days here on earth. He is finally free from his prison and though I am so relieved for him, the reality of him being

gone is still hard.

I have thought a lot about Heaven these past few weeks. Who came for him? What is he experiencing? Who is he talking to? What is he wearing? Has he had all his questions answered? He had a lot of them. Can he see me? Does he know how many people love and miss him? This magnified reality of a heaven makes this existence feel like I am in a bit of a holding

pattern.

Cathy and Jenny

Luke and Annaliese with Grandma

The Steve Armstrong clan minus Lance who is in the service back east and could not make it.

Chelse, Mom, Kendra, me and Annie

We had the service yesterday. It was delayed for almost two weeks because we had family coming from Indonesia and it was the soonest they could get here. What a sweet relief to have my brothers and their families here. Being together gave me strength. I have such an amazing family...all of them! How many people can say that? We are growing with such wonderful additions both in marriage and births.

It was really important to Mom that we have the Air Force Honor Guard come and salute Dad. They folded the flag on Dads coffin and gave the flag to Mom.

The "presenter" knelt next to Mom and presented her the flag and spoke softly, only to her...

"This flag is presented on behalf of the President of the United States of America and a grateful nation as a token of appreciation for your loved ones honorable and faithful service."

It was very touching, knowing how proud Dad was of his service on the Berlin Airlift an 75 combat missions in Korea.

Dads grandsons and two sons that could be there were the Pallbearers.

Brett Hulet

Steve Armstrong

Nick Armstrong

Brad Worsley

Luke Armstrong

Ben Hulet

Nico Armstrong

Here we are waiting for the placement of the casket and dedication of the grave. I think Cathy was taking care of one of her grandchildren during this picture and Tony was in Germany and not able to make the flight back.

These women were truly our angels who took care of Dad during his final years. We knew him at his best and they knew him only at his worst. There dedication to Dad was the truest of unconditional love. Our love and gratitude knows no bounds.

Simply Providential...

2010-04-09T08:04:00.001-07:00

Bob and I are in NYC for business (Bob) and adventure (me). Several interesting things have happened to me that seem simply providential. We missed our morning flight out and were able to get on standby at noon. I sat next to a red headed woman that was very sweet. She was from Prescott and going to NY to help her daughter make dresses for her upcoming wedding in June. I told her about Kendras dress that I had made...

and Chelsees reception in my backyard (sorry, she has all the pictures). That got us on to gardening and soon discovered that we were both "Master Gardners"! The similarities in our lives were astounding! Truly a kindred spirit.

We then checked into the Meridian here in Manhattan. It was lovely enough but not very warm and inviting for me. The hallways were dark grey and blue lights and...well I felt like I was in a 1960's bar. Weird imagination. Luckily for us they only had a room for that night and so the next morning I packed up and booked a room and the Omni Berkshire. We have never stayed at this hotel in Manhattan but I love the Omni hotels so off I went with luggage in taxi. As I was walking back to the Omni later that afternoon I noticed a restaurant just two doors down from the Omni. I always look for the narrow frontage but deep restaurants. It usually means amazing food. I suggested as we headed out for dinner that night that we take a look. As we entered we were overwhelmed by the fresh florals that were everywhere! Each table had a small vase with a dozen flowers...roses, ranunculus, berries.

But the most stunning were the large cherrie branchs with full blooms reaching to the top of the ceilings with some white lilies at the base.

It was like stepping into a secret garden. It just took my breath away. The fragrance was amazing. I just kept closing my eyes and taking deep breaths to try and take it all in. We were some of the first people there and so the food aroma had not taken over yet. I would have never found this place if we had not had to move! Providential enough. The owner came to our table and talked all about his flowers. Every season the restaurant is transformed by whatever is in season. This is a must see if you are ever in NYC. The name oddly enough was simply "La Grenioulle" meaning The Frog.

Strange name for such an enchanting restaurant.

One more interesting point of interest. Across the street from the Omni was a

giant blown up rat and cockroach and men drumming on 5 gallon paint buckets.

I thought they were advertising a new Broadway show and ignored it. The problem is that it was all day and getting a bit annoying. Bob came home and said that it was the painters union harassing the hotel for hiring non-union painters. The union paid these guys for the week to stand outside and agitate guests with the noise. It was so disturbing to me to think that a hotel cannot hire who they want. The union will make you suffer if you don't use them. Pro union or not...that is just simply wrong. Is this the land of the free or not.

So today we are going to walk all round the park and see what we can see. I am very excited. Bob doesn't have any appointments today. This would be a first for us when we visit Manhattan. I'll post pictures of our day...

Easter and Lilies

2010-03-28T09:38:00.000-07:00

I've always wondered what the connection was between Easter and Lilies and so I googled it. Here is the condensed version:

The Easter Lily originates from the souther part of Japan and was brought here to America in the late 1800's. It's scepter or trumpet shape makes it a symbol of royalty. Its white color indicates purity, innocence, hope, and virtue.

Christ makes reference to the flower in the New Testament when he says..."Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they toil not, neither do they spin and yet Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these." I love Christ's description.

Lilies are often called the "White-Robed Apostles of Hope". Lilies were discovered in the Garden of Gethsemane after Christ died on the cross. During the Easter season, churches line their altars and envelop their crosses with a multitude of Easter Lilies, to signify the resurrection of Jesus Christ and the hope of eternal life.

And now you know...

Happy Easter

An Afternoon with Dad

2010-03-21T21:12:00.000-07:00

I realized the other day that perhaps it might be nice to update you on Dad with a video. Mom and I went on Friday to give Dad a hair cut and snapped a few pictures. He was not very responsive through most of the taping but I was able to capture some sweet moments. He is very weak and it seems a miracle that he keeps hanging on. I pray everyday he can be released from this life but while his sojourn continues here on earth he will be loved and taken care of. For those of you who have not been able to see Dad/Grandpa for some time this may be a little difficult to watch. Just know that every once and awhile we see a glimpse of him and it would make you smile.

Mom giving Dad a good luck kiss before I start cutting!

A video of Dad...

"We are always teaching..."

2010-03-09T08:09:00.000-08:00

a house of order...

It was a year ago that Bob had had a conversation with our Stake President about an activity we had wanted to have with our Arboleda Branch youth. Every Fast Sunday we have a "Noche de Crepas" with the YM and YW. This particular Sunday was unusual because it was not only crepe night but the Super Bowl. We lamented over what to do. Watch the game with them, forget the game or postpone until the next week. Pres. Ostler simply counseled "We are always teaching." So we had our crepe night in conflict with the game. I don't remember if we had a low YM turnout. It doesn't matter. The words "we are always teaching" comes up often as we make decisions with our calling and as parents.

After I finished reading this morning my heart remembered this counsel and so I want to share some thoughts.

In D&C 93 it teaches us first of light, then of learning, then of teaching.

Light:

2: Christ is the "true light that lighteth everyman that cometh into the world."

Learn:

28:He that keepeth his commandments receiveth truth and light, until he is glorified in truth and knoweth all things.

So bottom line...keep the commandments and there are more then twelve. We are commanded in many things. And this is the command given in 93 that is so important, especially to you parents raising kids now...

Teach:

40: But I have commanded you to bring up your children in light and truth

Now Frederick Williams is getting chewed up a bit here:

42: Ye have not taught your children light and truth, according to the commandments; and that wicked one hath power as yet, over you, and this is the cause of your affliction... "set in order your own house, for there are many things that are not right in your house..." Joseph Smith gets rebuked and then Newel Whitney on the same issue. It is safe to say that this would include all of us on some level. I can't teach if I don't know, and I can't know unless I am obedient. This is the condition of "light and truth." And here is the guide: D&C 109:7-8

Organize yourselves; prepare every needful thing, and establish a house, even

a house of prayer,

a house of fasting,

a house of faith,

a house of learning,

a house of glory,

a house of order,

a house of God.

Take a deep breath... I know it sounds simpler then it is. Never get discouraged or give up. Be the light...so they can see the way.

Loves...

Wall Street Journal..."Did I Get Married Too Soon"?

2010-02-26T21:05:00.000-08:00

December 16th 1977

November 2009

I was 19 (almost 20), Bob was 21 and recently home from his mission when we got married. We knew each other in High School...sort of. He had a girlfriend (that would be you Judy) and I was two years younger and didn't really run in his circle. It was April of 1977 and I had just gotten home from a year at BYU when I saw him at a dance festival. We technically met for the first

time, we dated, we broke up (actually he dumped me) and then we got back together (three days later he regretted dumping me). Our first date was the first of June, we were engaged by October and married by December. There is a love story between these lines but that is not why I am writing this entry. Bob received an article in the Wall Street Journal written by a staff member at Institute for American Values entitled "Did I Get Married Too Soon?" To both pro and con advocates I will be really honest. There were times I thought I had. I loved Bob and wanted to marry him so I did. I had a Hollywood idea of what marriage would be like and found out that it is much easier create a love story in an 1 1/2 hours on a movie screen then to create one in real life. Only one night at the movies and you have wives all over

the world saying to their husbands..."Why aren't you more like Edward!!!" I haven't read the books or seen the movies but I associate with enough young women and grown women alike to know it has had a damaging impact on their idea of what love really is. Vampires....really? I once heard a women lecturing on this subject. She was trying to help detox her daughter from the effects of the movie "Titanic". I remember one of my daughters (it was Kendra and her friend Katy Slade) coming home with her friend, both being in tears over the death of Leonardo DiCaprio in the movie. Kate and Leonardo...now they had a real love story. She then went on to say, "It's a good thing that boy died because the minute he hit shore he would have been gone." I laughed at her brutal honesty on the subject. My biggest problem in getting married so young was that I was immature.I dove head first into a world where I had to be selfless, loyal, hard working, careful with money, careful with words. The list goes on and on.

What I know now that I didn't know then is that I made the right choice...for me. What I could not see then, I see so clearly now. I saw it this week when I went to lunch with a young friend of mine that has been married only 9 months. The transformation is taking place in her and she is beautiful. How do you best teach a young woman service. Place her newborn child in her arms.

(Jessica as a baby. I don't remember everything being so orange and that I have no pictures of her and I when she was a newborn baby!)

How do you teach a young woman selflessness? Support a husband through the countless hours of school and/or work. Even sweeter is if he knows he is coming home to a wife that greets him with an understanding spirit and a warmed up plate of dinner. How do you teach a young woman about order and clean. Let her experience the chaos of a dirty home and piled up laundry. She learns quickly the virtue of hard work and sees the spirit of peace in her home when she creates a house of order. I was so busy developing these skills out of necessity (usually due to a lack of funds), that I didn't notice the incremental growth along the way. I did not have the wisdom at 19 to know this but at 52 it is as clear as day.

I told my husband on our date last night that I came up with the perfect analogy for this article. I was told once that the best way to get through your day was to start with the challenging things first so that your evenings are peaceful. It is true of marriage and family. Start while you are young and fresh and full of energy. Grow and stretch through your eternal progression. Rid yourself of all the human tendencies that make you miserable. Life will never be without it's challenges, old or young, but my life is more peaceful now. I am content and love sharing the "evenings" with my husband. It is so much sweeter than I had anticipated. So here's to 32 years and growing up together.

In the dirt with Grandma.

2010-02-21T08:31:00.000-08:00

I got to watch Elli and Wesley the other day while Jessica ran some errands. I had some gardening and thought "What a perfect activity for my grandkids! I'll get so much done and we'll have so much fun doing it!" OK, We had a lot of fun.

Elli insisted on raking the pots we had just planted. We lost a little dirt but the plants survived.

Wesley said that only blue gloves would do. Thank heavens Targets marketing team agreed with him.

First an old fashioned picnic...except I got the food at Wendys which technically makes it not so old fashioned. I could have fried up some chicken and made some potato salad but why?

Gender gardening tools. Gotta love Target.

Wesley got the hang of it and lasted about 2 mintues. Elli's contribution was raking the stone. But who cares, her entire ensemble was color coordinates...pink and green...what else matters?

Zero tolerance for dirt in her shoes. She did this more than worked in it...

But look! We have matching shoes! Mine are on the left I am embarrassed to admit. It's my Mom's fault. I guess with two of us to cook (I'm a twin) she just got tired and didn't finish my feet.

Nature calls. I just wished it hadn't been in the bed we were just about to work in!

So the gardening didn't last long. Next up...running in the sprinklers!

A final shot of the work...I did. My grandkids contribution...not to pull it all out! Great day

To be chosen by a good man,,,

2010-02-14T16:31:00.000-08:00

I want my daughters to be beautiful, accomplished and good;

to be admired, loved, and respected; to have a happy youth,

to be well and wisely married, and to lead useful, pleasant lives,

with as little care and sorrow to try them as God sees fit to send.

To be loved and chosen by a good man is the best and sweetest thing which can happen to a woman; and I sincerely hope my girls may know this beautiful experience...

Louisa May Alcott

"Little Woman"

Bob, thank you for choosing me all those years ago and for reminding me everyday that I am the best thing that ever happened to you. I feel the same about you. I love you.

Happy Valentines Day

Here's looking at you kid...

2010-02-07T12:52:00.000-08:00

So first I must confess that I'm not a big dog lover. I grew up loving all our Pekinese dogs, all named Peppy so it seemed odd that that natural affection left me. Somehow the responsibilities of raising a large family was all I could do. We did get a few dogs for the kids. It was their job to do all the work...you know where this is going. This dog was suppose to teach them responsibility etc etc. It ended up just adding to mine. So...it was on one of those mornings after all the kids were off to school that I called up the want ads and offered our Cocker Spaniel...for free. I began taking phone calls and by the next morning I had found a kind older woman that wanted the companionship and of the dog. It took three days before any of our kids notice.

This is not a story about a dog. It is the story of compassion. Chelsee and Ben had first alerted me to the fact that their was a stray dog running around the area. They could never get close enough to catch it but always left food out in the event it got brave enough to come close. Then one evening as Bob and I were walking around the yard we turned the corner to our back yard and there was the stray dog, settled onto our patio couch, comfy as could be. I tried to approach it but it ran off. As it did so we noticed that it was limping and that it had left a blood stain on the couch. I felt sorry for the little guy but he was gone and that was that. The next day I visited with some of the neighbors and found that they had been trying for weeks to get close enough to help. That evening as we were eating dinner I turned to see him again, perched on our couch outside. This time Bob stayed inside and I went out to see if I could help it. I spent the next thirty minutes just inching my way closer and closer. There was a lot of growling involved but the minute we made eye contact, that was that. We were friends at last. We were leaving for Salt Lake City the next day and so we asked Ben and Chelsee to keep an eye out for him. I knew he would not stay. Much to our surprise, on our way out the door for the airport, there he was waiting for me. We arranged with Ben and Chelsee to get him to a vet and by the end of the weekend he had a collar, a name and a home. We were discussing this at dinner in Utah and the theory that if you want to establish authority over a dog you should not make eye contact. I had heard of this before. I thought to myself how difficult it would be to bond with an animal if you never looked into their eyes. For that matter, bond with anyone. Eyes tell so much.

Ben named him Buddy.

Much to our surprise, Buddy knew all kinds of trick, the first we discovered was shaking hands.

We tried to tape a sock on his wounded foot to keep him from touching it. That lasted maybe 30 minutes!

Not sure if he's a mix or not but he is a beautiful dog all the same.

Ben and Buddy are best friends.

Home Sweet Home~

The Pros and Cons of Christmas...

2010-01-03T02:54:00.000-08:00

The best part of Christmas...

Brad comes out to create a little chaos and fun with a snowball fight. Well, it was fun for Brad.

Katy bundled up all the kids and took them out to play in the snow. They are getting warm in the treehouse.

Christmas Eve PJ's. Katy's and Annies were onesies that were "form fitting". We had to get creative on the angle of the camera.

The only serious picture they took...

Gingerbread house made by the grandkids. It looked nothing like the picture on the box.

It has been some time since I have posted. I will blame it on Christmas. For all my silent (well, I'm not always silent about it) complaining about the stress of this holiday I seem never to have the courage to do anything about it. I love the family time but the endless lists of what not to forget distracts me. The closest I got to the "true meaning of Christmas" was attending Chelsee's sacrament Christmas program. She sang "Mary's Lullaby". Her voice brings life back into a tired song. They quoted some of Hollands talk about the man Joseph and the woman Mary. I was reminded of the strength of character they had by submitting to their part of the "plan". His humility and courage, her obedience and...courage. We see the circumstances into which the Savior was born and are in awe of it's symbolism. A baby, a humble manger, shepherds and no one to help Mary but Joseph. But I wonder if Mary looked at the condition in which she was to bring the Savior into the world and feel like this surely was not the plan. Did Joseph wonder "Why in Bethlehem and why now?" Why not in Nazareth where Mary's mom was? Two thousand years later and we still deal with the same perplexing questions. Why here?Why now? Is this a part of the plan...really? And so we learn from those that have gone before us how to follow in faith.

We did have our first official nativity program with our grandchildren. Unfortunately I could not find my camera until after it was over. It was darling. Our only challenge was that Cole (one of the wise men) kept trying to pick up the baby Jesus. Kenedi tried to stop him at which he protested..."No Mary!!!" Elli was the angel and she stood in front with her back to us to watch the little play and Chancy got stage fright. Other then that, Ethan made a great Joseph by putting his arm around Mary and making sure she was settled in. Mary (Kenedi) was careful to place Jesus (a stuffed animal, I'm going to have to work on that for next year) in the basket. Wesley played the part of the other wise man to perfection. A special thanks goes to the directors, producers and costume designers...Chelsee, Katy and Annie.

And now the new year which always comes seamlessly. Can't really tell the difference to tell you the truth but it does motivate me to think about my life and what needs to be improved. Bob and I are coming up with a bucket list. Bob's is about things he wants to accomplish and mine is about things I want to do. Interesting...

How was your Christmas?

2009-11-08T11:07:00.000-08:00

This is not about flowers but I thought I'd share some of my cuttings from my rose garden with you. Wish you were here to smell them!

This is actually about a surprise trip Chelsee and I made to Kentucky to be with our sweet young friend as she gave birth to her first child. Meghan (Linnell) Nielson has been a part of our family since Chelsee and her were in Jr. High. They bonded at girls camp and have been best friends ever since. That is their story. My story is that I have loved Meghan with a mothers heart since the beginning. I watched her grow from pre-teen to beautiful young woman to now a radiant wife and mother. She inspired me with her strength through her storms. She has a calm sweet spirit that is no nonsense. It was good to see into her and Bryces world so far away from Arizona.

After our surprise visit on Monday night we took Bryce and Meghan out for dinner at Cheesecake factory...her last meal!

Our bed and breakfast was amazing. It was like going home every night or early morning as the little guy didn't want to show up until the early morning hours of Wednesday

Here we are Tuesday morning having just arrived at the hospital. Megs is on petocin but feeling no pains yet. I knew we were in for a long day at that point. Little did I know it would go into the next day!

Finally he arrives! Meghan was so calm and level through it all. He ended up being to big to deliver naturally so they had to do a C Section. He was a chunk! He weight 9lbs. 3 oz. and was 20 inches long. Even his forehead was chubby!

Babys first kiss from Mommy

Introducing the new Nielson addition...Dax.

I am so proud of this young couple. They are doing so well as they begin their life together. I will always cherish our time together this November 2009.

Much love...

Especially for Grandma Linnell and Grandma Nielson

2009-11-03T07:44:00.000-08:00

Here he is!!!! Delivered 1:08

9lbs. 3 oz. 20" long!

Chelsee and I are here in Kentucky awaiting the delivery of Dax Nielson...Bryce and Meghans first little baby. I know there are family members far away that would love to be here and so we thought it would be a great idea to post as the day goes along so you can feel like you were here...via cyberspace. So here are the first of the pictures...enjoy!

Bryce met us at the airport and helped get us settled into our room and then off to surprise Meghan. In the words of Chelsee:

Flight to Kentucky - $250.00

Gross airline food - $12.00

Surprising my BFF - Priceless!

We decided to go to Cheesecake to celebrate a new baby coming, friends and family but mostly because we were all just hungry. Meghan is as calm as can be... Chelsee on the other hand is running around making sure the machines are all working. Currently the machine is beeping for some unknown reason. Chelsee is sitting here saying..."Make it stop!"

Mom and Dad to be on the eve of there little baby boy coming...

Sitting in our B&B room (so cute) and visiting until midnight. It is great to laugh and catch up.

Norton Women's Pavilion

The parking lot was full so we had to park on the top! This is the entrance to the hospital.

Getting closer...

Meghan and Bryce are in room #5

Meghan was fast asleep...until Chelsee took this picture and woke her up.

Bryce is not doing school work though that would be assumed. He is busy talking to all the friends and family that are anxiously awaiting Dax's entrance.

Picture of Mom and babies heart rate. Looks like Meghan doesn't have one?

Taking lots of pictures.

Dax's first bed.

Playing cards on Meghan's belly.

They just came and upped the dose of pitocin. This little guy is not getting the hint. No pain yet... Almost time for lunch...Meghan gets ice chips...yummy!

More coming...

OK, it was only one minute later that a doctor came in and broke Meghan's water so it begins. The contractions are coming quickly. She doesn't feel much pain yet. It is 12:25 pm.

12:55pm: The contractions are coming every 45-60 seconds. She is trying to relax and breathe through them so the only sound in this room are my keys on this board. Bryce is sitting with her and helping her through the contractions. I am reminded of the amazing bond that occurs between a man and a woman when they bring a child into the world. Meghan is being strong, as always and Bryce is being sweet and attentive...and on the concerned side.

another update coming soon.

2:11pm- Meghan just had the epidural. She is feeling great! Thank heavens for modern medicine! We are just talking and laughing, things are going great here in room #5!

3:30pm - She is sleeping peacefully. She is dilated to a 4 1/2 and the nurse informed us that she will probably take a while before delivery. Live from 5...

5:00pm - hanging in there. She has not been checked yet so we are not sure where she is at. It is past due so hoping for a better update soon...

6:15pm - She was checked 15 minutes ago and was only at a 5 so...Dax is settled in for a little longer I think. She is sleeping which is great. I imagine this will be a late night delivery! We'll be back in another 30 or so...

7:00pm - good news! Meghan just threw up! I don't know if that is good news except that it meant closer to delivery for my daughter in law Lael!? She is now eating ice chips. Her only challenge is that she is a bit numb and bending to reach the trash can Bryce grabbed for her was a bit challenge but not to worry. It was fast and close enough. Chelsee disappeared and reappeared to announce that she thought leaving was better so there weren't two people throwing up. She is so thoughtful.

10:50pm- WE ARE PUSHING! Well when I say "we" I mean Meghan...Dr. Walsh (the obgyn) said it could be an hour or so of pushing before he gets here. We have a countdown! She is doing great, though she has thrown up 5 times total now. I think the next update will be with pictures of baby Dax!

11:40pm-Still pushing...what a trooper! We did see his head though, he has dark black hair!

12:25am- Meg has been pushing for 2 hours now and Dr. Walsh has decided that since Dax is so big and he has not made much progress that a C-section is in both Meghan and Dax's best interest. Meghan is brave and is okay with the decision. She and Bryce will be heading into delivery soon. Updates to follow. If you are still reading this, say a prayer for her and Dax. We all will be here in room #5.

1:00 am - OK, we packed up the room and are officially homeless. It will take an hour before we see Mom, Dad and baby Dax. They are both at peace. I think Megs is relieved. She is soooo tired! I asked the Dr. about the current opinion on C-sections. She said she may have to have them for future deliveries but not always. Dax is just to big. She also said that it would not limit the number of children they could have. That is usually a concern. Bryce was able to take his camera with him and will be able to take pictures after things settle down. It will be late but we will post what we can before we head back to our hotel and a few hours of sleep. Chelsee and I are planning on cooking tomorrow and putting meals in the freezer. Stephanie (Megs BFF in Kentucky) assured me that the ward will take good care of them in light of the longer recovery. See you in an hour.

2:00am- Are you still there? Dax Nielson is officially here! Dax's proud Dad just came to the waiting room to announce to Me, Chelsee, and Meghan's other BFF Stephanie that he is here safe and sound. Pictures coming soon!! Congrats Meghan and Bryce! We love you!!

Sea Cucumber anyone?

2009-10-25T16:25:00.000-07:00

We have just returned home from another safe journey to China. I was able to get some reading and work done while Bob was at meetings. I realize now that the anxiety of traveling to places like China is being so far away from home and not knowing an area and more importantly a culture. With it being my second time there I was far more comfortable exploring a bit of Beijing on my own. Sharon (not sure of her Ch inese name) made every effort to ensure our visit was enjoyable. She took me to lunch just to visit about anything but work. She then invited us to attend a concert at a church. We did not understand the magnitude of the invitation. It was very exclusive and had guards standing around the church every ten feet. Amazing orchestra, choir, and soloist from Germany!

We had to ride the subway to get to the concert. As we stepped out we found ourselves in Beijings version of "Time Square". It was beautiful and by the way, their subways were much cleaner than NYC!

The people here have been so kind. OK, so maybe not the taxi cab drivers. I learned that though their voice inflections are severe...and a bit raised...that is just the way they communicate. They could be proclaiming there undying love to someone and sound like they wanted to punch them in the nose. This was something I had to get use to. We did get to experience more of the food eaten by the locals.It is always a bit risky. I was able to get through almost every meal without too much anxiety. Bob on the other hand had a business dinner that defied all logic. This particular blog is not for those with tender stomachs...so ye be warned! The picture of Bob and I is at a restaurant used by the locals. The black things were fungus. Yes, I just kept telling myself..."it's a mushroom". It didn't help.Bob had the opportunity to be served a "sea cucumber" at a business dinner (no I was not there). He asked if it was a vegetable and much to his dismay his host said...No...it's a worm. They mine it from the bottom of the ocean and it is a rare delicacy. They take out all the insides, make it into a chunky gravy and serve the flesh of the worm, whole, on top. Hmmm...yummy. The picture that looks like a cucumber...yes that is what they served him and no he did not eat it...well one small tiny bite just to be polite.
As always it is good to be back home. I could not blog while in Beijing cyberspace so here it is ... a bit late and forgetting something I'm sure.
My next blog will be about fish you catch from the "top" of the ocean like salmon...
Loves...

I love you Dad...

2009-10-06T19:33:00.000-07:00

Today was my fathers 80th birthday. Those of us that live here in Arizona, came to celebrate it with him. Cathy, Barry and Christina were there as well as Brad, Lael and kids and Chelsee and

Ben. Mom wanted to make sure to mark the event with family, pictures and of course his favorite dessert...Cherry Cheesecake. Now that he seemed to remember! My Dad is in the final stages of Alzheimers and this disease is nothing like what they show in the movies. His words are gone except on a few rare moments when he can respond with a correct yes or no. Even then, I think we just get lucky. For me, the best moment is always when I come to visit and he looks at me and in just a few seconds begins to smile. This is always followed by a warm hug and a kiss. His brain cannot remember my name or that I am his daughter but his heart remembers...I am certain of it.

So with my blessing of memory I would like to share with you who my father was to me. He was big and strong and always carried me to my bed when I had fallen asleep in the car after we had all gone to the drive-in movies in Emmett Idaho. I was always just awake enough to be aware that he was doing this for me. It still warms my heart to think about it. He was handsome. I was always proud of the way my Dad took care of himself. He struggled to provide but never stopped trying and Mom always made it stretch enough. My mom use to say that a woman can shovel more out the back door with a spoon than a man can bring in the front door with a shovel. Mom was always careful with her spoon. My Dad loved me and I knew it. I use to think that Dad called me specifically everyday to tell me he loved me. Now I realize I probably just answered the phone a lot. But it made a difference in my self image. Fathers have no idea the influence they can have on their daughters self worth. If she feels loved and accepted by him, they will not go try to find approval in the wrong place with the wrong boy. His greatest lesson to me was love. Dad and I chose different religious paths. Regardless of that difference he never discouraged me from my activity in mine. It was not until I was in my adult years and a parent myself, that I realized what his actions meant. He loved me enough to let me choose, regardless of our difference. That took a lot of unconditional love and I will always be grateful for his example and tolerance.

So Dad, here's to you and our memories of the heart.

I love you

Christi

When life gives you berries...

2009-09-08T12:25:00.000-07:00

This is a family vacation with the Cheneys in Cascade Idaho. We picked berries...

It has been some time since I have written. In my efforts to be productive after Annie left, I out did myself. The cobwebs and dust have been flying as I immerse myself into all kinds of memorizing. Not only am learning Spanish but am serving as an Ordinance Worker in the Mesa Temple. I'm certain that the temple will be a peaceful sanctuary again someday but for now there is so much to learn! As for my Spanish...I can ask you your name, where you live, numbers, how to ask for and tell time and all about the verb "ser". This is going to take a long time!

It feels like peace and turmoil are at odds more often lately. Current economic and personal challenges have a domino effect and it seems to be touching everyone. So everyday I remind myself that I am equal to the challenges, allowing my faith to dominate my fear and worry. This reminder is my gift to my family and to myself. Living by true principles allows me to act and not be acted upon.

We had some time with our family at the ranch for Labor Day weekend. I planted blackberries three years ago and have had almost no harvest. Much to my delight on Saturday morning my son asked me if the berries were edible... I thought "berries?" Do I have berries? Silly Brad, I plant everything knowing Cole will try to eat it! So I had great fun harvesting the ripe berries with my grandkids. Most wanted to pick them but did not want to step into the dirt and get their feet dirty...who are these kids?

My prayers to all those who struggle with what tomorrow may bring... Remind yourself of what you simply can't lose and then all the rest just doesn't matter.

I am reminded of a saying I learned from a branch member:

Caras vemos, corazones no sabamos! (We can see your face but cannot know your heart) It reminds me of the verse in a hymn - "In the quiet heart is hidden sorrows that the eye can't see". May you have strength against this day...and tomorrow too.

Mucho Amor...Christi/Mom/Grandma/Friend

"Strength against the day"

2009-08-09T12:06:00.000-07:00

Kendra and Nathan came to visit us here in Arizona several weeks ago. Every moment can hold a moment of inspiration if we are open to it. Mine was one morning at breakfast. Kendra and Nathan made breakfast because I am such a good hostess?! We sat down and I had Nathan offer a blessing on the food. He was doing all the work that morning apparently....I hope I did the dishes at least. It was a just a few words buried in the prayer that caught my attention and my heart. He asked that the food "give us strength against the day". He didn't say "for" the day. He said "against" the day. That's different. I have given this much thought since. This earthly experience was never meant to be easy...each day requires some strength to get through it. It feels like an emotional friction.

Where is my source of strength?

Loving my grandchild
Laughing with my husband
Holding my daughters hand when we are walking
Going to the temple with Lael and Chelsee
Time with God
Music
A clean home
A chance to help
Faithful observances
Faithful friends
Faithful family
My sister
Lunch with my daughters
Convincing Wesley and Cole that Grandmas kisses are "precious" not "pooky".
Fall in my gardens
When my son teaches

My greatest hope is that I not rob anyone "strength against the day" with words that I may say but that they leave feeling encouraged and ready to fight the friction around them...

Thanks Nathan for inspiring me with your prayer.

Much love to all that reads this...

Stepping into the darkness one foot at a time...

2009-08-05T09:21:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I think I think to much. As I gather up the courage for this next season I rarely here from older women the struggle I seem to be going through. My greatest fear is that I will become obsolete. As your children become adults they begin to make decisions separate from the council of Mom and Dad. It's is the greatest blessing of a parent to see your children independent of you and making decisions...good and bad. It's how we learn. So after anguishing through many trains of thought I finally realized I was simply stalling. For all the times I have told my kids to have couarage, do the hard things, keep progressing, I was not listening to my own council. So two days ago I called Mesa Community College. It was just a phone call. I was not committing to anything. I talked to a very nice man that informed me that taking a spanish class would require that I take the Placement Test! OK, so forget the whole thing. I haven't taken a test in 30+ years and even then I was not very good at it. I realize that they just want to determine what level of skill I was at in reading, english and math, I did not want to expose myself to possible humiliation. The last test was at 5:00. I had time to make it. I don't know what forced got me in that car but I found myself driving to the school. The entire time I challenged myself if this was the right thing to do. I was struggling to find the testing center when a man came up to me and asked if I needed help. To my surprise it was the encouraging man on the phone just several hours before. My first tender mercy. He calmed my fears all the way to the testing center. I find myself in a room full of 20 year olds...again the doubts come but I was stuck in that room rather I liked it or not. I took the test and found that my english was above average, I tested out of reading and I bombed math. No surprises there. OK, now I have done the hard thing, I can go home and feel good about my step into the darkness. Not sure I want to commit to the next step of signing up for a class yet.

The following morning Monica Reyna came to visit teach me and the message almost took my breath away..."Seek Education and Lifelong Learning". My step of faith just received an answer! It was a moment of tender mercy. It was Elder Hales comment that sealed my heart to the idea of taking that spanish class. Here is his council:

"A few of the basic attributes needed to become a lifelong learner are courage, faithful desire, humility, patience, curiosity, and a willingness to communicate and share the knowledge that we gain. My dear sisters, don't ever sell yourself short as a woman or as a mother. Do not let the world define, denigrate, or limit your feelings of lifelong learning and the values of motherhood in the home - both here mortally and in the eternal learning and benefits you give to your children and to your companion. Lifelong learning is essential to the vitality of the human mind, body, and soul. It enhances self-worth and self-actuation. Lifelong learning is invigorating mentally and is a great defense against aging, depression, and self-doubt."

I got in my car and drove to MCC and signed up for Spanish 101, T,Th from 1-3.

I am very nervous but it is my turn to do for myself what I have helped everyone else around me do. I have been the wind beneath everyones wings...it is time for me to be the bird. Wish me luck!

Give me wisdom...

2009-07-25T18:06:00.000-07:00

It has been a while since I last wrote on this blog. Since we have been home from China there have been a few challenges which make my heart heavy. My husband is shouldering the world it seems as he works day and night to wrestle with the effects of the economy on our business. I struggle between two thoughts...

Are we holding on to what is slippery and all that that implies about Gods will in our lives?
Is our steel being tested and is giving up Satan's victory?

What council do I give Bob? I can justify both thoughts.

Our daughter Katy has just lost her best friend, one she had hoped would be hers for for ever. How do you comfort a child's heart when it is broken like that? The first and obvious words of council is to help her feel that she is better off, that God has a better plan for her but it is hard, in times like these, for the brain to reason with the heart. If I have learned anything is this life, it is that the answer is rarely that obvious and is always elevated from worldly reasoning.

One of the phrases from my current "favorite" songs says this...

"Lord grant me thy abiding love and make my turmoil cease". (Hymn "Oh May My Soul Commune with Thee)

So to Bob and Katy (and to all those who are suffering) I pray for the Lords abiding love to bring them peace and hope that their "turmoil may cease".

As always...I love you

Christi and Mom

The Great Wall of China

2009-07-09T17:35:00.000-07:00

Photo #1 - Yes, we cheated

Photo #2 - Yes, Dad and I thought we were in Hawaii...

Photo #3 - Yes, China needs help on their english translations for their signs... I tried to resist adding this one but my humor won.

The Great Wall of China! I called Katy but realized it was like 3 in the morning...sorry Katy! Then I called Annie and talked to her! Amazing phone service.

We were finally into some flora and fauna! It was beautiful and slightly cooler. Enjoy the pics.

I think I'm a rock star...

2009-07-09T17:20:00.000-07:00

One of the interesting things that kept happening is that people would randomly ask Sunny if they could have their picture with me. I think they thought I was famous. Sunny finally asked me if she needed to get my autograph because she said this just never happens. I assured her that I was not famous. She was convince that they could feel my "spirit" and were drawn to it. I don't know about that but later on we came across another photo op...and this is where I realized that I was not a rock star but the Empress of China!

OK, the truth is I was dying of heat and that robe was very hot and all I could think of is how many other people had worn this...dying of heat...gross.

It was a hard sale...my being the Empress. It think it is because of my hair color...and skin color and that I am considered large compared to these tiny women here in Asia. Good thing the robe was one size fits all!

The Forbidden City

2009-07-09T16:33:00.000-07:00

This top photo is where the Emperor slept in the summer to keep cool. All the stone was quarried from the bottom of a lake. They apparently don't have a lot of stone in Beijing!

On front and back of every building entrance dragons were carved into the stone. They are BIG on Dragons! At the corner of every eave they had them carved as well. One large dragon and his sons in front with a little man to "drive" them to heaven. Not sure on the translation of that. I think that's what Sunny said!

The exterior wall that surrounded the Forbidden City. It was huge. It also had a mote around it to further protect the palace.

My experience here taught me much about the life of the Emperor and his family. They lived a very secluded life even from each other. The protocol was very strict. The Emperor must have been a very lonely man. Very few people, including his wives could see him without a ceremony or event. I don't know what the inside of this city looked liked then but it was a lot of stone...every where. I was a bit disappointed to find that there were no gardens to speak of. A few trees and very little grass. Beijing is actually very hot in the summer with little rain. That is why they built the Summer Palace. It was their attempt at getting away from the heat. It seemed just as hot to me at both locations! Each building has a purpose and a saying over each door. Some were for celebrating, some for politics, some for worship, some for gathering, some for reading, some for holding court and counsels. Lining the city walls

were the buildings that housed the army and the servants. I tried to remember all the history of the buildings as Sunny was teaching me but there were so many buildings and not enough memory! I decided if I really wanted to know I would just go buy the book! It was my first glimpse into the belief system of the Chinese people. With communism, much of it is not practiced which is a shame. It seems that Buddha had some things right.

What I enjoyed most were the

conversations Sunny and I had about our lives. She is getting married next February during the Spring Festival. Over the two days we spent together I marveled at how similar we all are regardless of our customs and cultures. She wants to be happily married and raise a child and wanted advice as to how to do that. Our hopes and dreams are the same even on the other side of the world. It was a sweet reminder of how grateful I am for my faith and my family and how I could not have one without the other. I think everyone we met were intrigued by our life, six children, 10 grandchildren, 31 years of marriage, our Mormon faith. There were so many opportunities to "see" the gospel in our lives that talking about it was easy because they kept asking.

Summer Palace with Sunny

2009-07-09T15:12:00.000-07:00

Top Photo: This is the top of the Summer Palace. Inside the round building is the famous statue of the women with seven heads and 24 arms!

Bottom Photo: Sunny and me on our way up to the of the mountain.

We are fresh home from China with great memories and experiences. A new country is always intimidating for me, especially when the language is so foreign. I am grateful for the warm welcome and care given to us by those we were meeting with. Since my visit was more in support of Bob I had made plans to work on projects in my hotel room while he went to his meetings. To my surprise and with some anxiety they had arranged a chaperone by the name of Sunny for me. We joked that she was to be my protector as she probably weighed in at 95 lbs. and stood 5 feet. She was to stay with me as long as I needed her. I think I was more nervous about having to carry on a conversation with her as I was to venture out into the historical sights of Beijing. Sunny was gracious and soon we were fast friends. She had a good handle on the history of the Forbidden City and the Summer Palace and I learned much about Buddhism and the different dynasties that ruled China for so long. I thought what a contrast to modern day Beijing. So much of what they believe is about harmony, peace, union, prosperity. As we climbed to the top of the Summer Palace and looked over the great city of Beijing I wandered what Buddha would have thought and the Emperors that lived by his teachings. Sunny then told me about her grandparents making the pilgrimage to the top of the summer palace where Emperors went alone to pray for their people. Her grandparents were both in their 80's and the hike up is pretty intense. Her grandfather was determined to make that journey so that, as the patriarch, he could pray for his family. So one step at a time and for much of the day they climbed those hundreds of stairs. In the middle of all the tourists and commerce going on around him, he had his sacred moment. He continues to practice his faith when most have forgotten or have never been taught. It was a powerful story for me about enduring to the end and being in the world and not of it.

Let us be men...

2009-06-18T13:34:00.000-07:00

I was putting my file of letters and cards I have received over the years away...yes, the same one that Chelsees letter came from and I came across another letter...this one from Kendra. It reminded me so much of my "get in the game" analogy that I thought it was worth sharing. It is a mothers day letter. I am not sure the year but it would have been within the last 3-4 years. Here is a bit of the letter and the quote:

...a part of the letter from Kendra.

"Motherhood, and yours in particular, is no better described than this quote below. Your unflinching devotion to my siblings and me is the silent example of "the [woman] who is actually in the arena."

From a speech given by Theodore Roosevelt in Paris...

"It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes short again and again, who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself (herself) in a worthy cause, who at best knows achievement and who at the worst if he fails at least fails while daring greatly so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat."

Now, my children have all heard this analogy and are perhaps weary of hearing it again. But to those who may come across this entry I think it is a great comparison to life and I love it's clarity. I must first give Pam Stenzel the credit for the thought. She is a speaker that travels all around the world talking to youth about the dangers of sex before marriage and the physical and spiritual damage it can cause. She has several videos. The analogy comes from one of them. In any sporting event there are two major types of people. There is the "team" and there are the "spectators." The team is made up of coaches and players, they are the ones playing the game. The spectators are the ones watching, though they are full of opinions on how to play the game, their only real investment is possibly a t-shirt and a ticket. The ones playing the game have several advantages over the spectator.

They made the cut. They made it on the team, victory all by itself.
They spend countless hours getting and staying in shape. They lift weights, run, practice and eat with winning the "game" as their motivation.
They study the game, understand the rules and memorize the plays.
They work as a team. They think as a team. They play as a team.
They get access to the playing field, with the exception of the occasional marching band or cheerleader, it is theirs, and theirs alone. Spectators trying to storm the field are usually met with resistance.
Most importantly..."to the victor goes the crown". Every victory goes to the players on the field and to them alone. Sometimes there will be losses, but at least they were in the game!

To those that scream from the sidelines about the coaching and the playing...I ask them one simple question..."How's the view from the cheap seats?"

I think of "Hollywood" protesting the marriage amendment...most of whom are not married themselves. I think of those who stand in judgement of different faiths, condemning the commitment and sacrifice and yet making none themselves. I recently heard a story of a man so upset about the location of the voting poll (not enough parking spaces) that he didn't vote! His chance to "be in the game" and he passed on it.

When I hear someone singing in church and find the quality is lacking...I remind myself..."at least they are in the game." There is no better example of someone being the in the game then my husband. He has no limits as to how hard he will work or what sacrifices he is willing to make. There is no spectator in him. Though sometimes he feels like he is losing, at least he is "daring greatly and shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory or defeat." I love him for so many reasons. He is my best friend but even more than that, I respect him. He has always "manned up" and that takes a lot of courage. Happy Fathers Day Bob! To my son and sons-in-laws...I wish you a wonderful day. Your efforts to preside, provide, and protect do not go unnoticed. I am grateful everyday for your courage and devotion to God and to my daughters and of course daughter-in-law!

I cannot figure out how to paste a youtube video. You can find it on the church's website: www.lds.org. It is entitled "Let Us Be Men" by Todd Christiansen. It is worth seeing. You can also find it on youtube.

Love Forever...

The meaning of Presidio...

2009-06-13T20:57:00.000-07:00

Chelsee and Ben - top

Jessica - below

As we were choosing an address for this blog (Chelsee helped me get started) Bob came up with Presidio Garden. It sounded good in light of the fact that we live on Presidio and I love to garden. We looked it up and found that Presidio means "Fortress". I began thinking of the fortresses we build to protect our families and ourselves. Then I began thinking about the one I personally built for my family... It had soft yellow walls, bright florals or fruit...hmmm...yes, I think it was fruit wallpaper in the kitchen, music always playing something soothing, flowers in the front, flowers in the back and laundry always going. Then there are the holidays! The sounds and smells of Christmas start around the beginning of October. Our daughter Jessica once put her tree up in late October. She gets that from me. So my fortress wasn't built with bricks and mortar...it was pretty soft actually. It was built on love. This made me think of a letter I got for mothers day several years ago from Chelsee. Yes, I keep everything people write to me because my "love language" is definately words of affirmation. Here is a little excerpt from it.:

..."One of the things that I have carried most with me is that there aren't very many problems that can't be solved when a couple of candles are burning, the house is clean and soft beautiful music is playing. The spirit resides there...THAT IS MY HAPPY PLACE!!!!! You have inspired me to pass this on to my children...a new generation of Christi's I'm afraid.

For your sake I hope a candle is always burning in yourhome. Because I know that is when you are happiest..."

I feel as though I have out smarted Satan in a most gentle way. I tried to maintain a home of peace. To all you young mothers out there... I say " I tried to maintain" because with six children things were not always orderly and clean. It was a daily challenge! One day off and you paid for days to get back back to order. I knew that if our home was a sanctuary I could send them out fortified to fight the battles outside of it. My inspiration...D&C 109:8

"Organize yourselves; prepare every needful thing, and establish a house, even a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order, a house of God."

But not all walls are built to protect. There are some them imprison us. The best scriptural example of this was how Capt. Moroni dealt with all the Lamanite prisoners. Alma 53:5 Now Moroni was compelled to cause the Lamanites to labor, because it was easy to guard them while at their labor... so Teancum, by order of Moroni puts them to work digging and placing "breastwork of timber" around the city of Bountiful. Alma 53:4 ...thus they did cause the Lamanites to labor until they had encircled the city of Bountiful... and in verse 5...This city became an exceeding stronghold ever after; and in this city they did guard the prisoners of the Lamanites; yea, even within a wall which they had caused them to build with their own hands.

This wall imprisoned the Lamanites:

The root cause of much of what we struggle with is because we have built "prisons" for ourselves. Consider pornography, debt, health, dishonesty, idleness, pride.

This wall protected the Nephites:

We are encouraged to live within the bounds the Lord has set. One foot outside God's law exposes us to dangers that could tear us down. One foot...

Today I would encourage anyone reading this to check your fortress for weak spots and then get busy repairing them. There is so much at risk. To my children, I need you to build a fortress for my grandchildren. Being one generation removed I can only have so much influence. Be the parents God needs you to be and bring those little ones home to him.

You know I love you...

2009-06-10T20:22:00.000-07:00

It seems as though my blog has a lot about Annie. It has been an eventful few weeks and now we have her settled into BYUH. The week was full of different adventures. Bob had only one rule. If it had blue in it (water or sky) he could not participate...only in the green (driving in the car and sight seeing). Our first full day was Sunday and so we spent it driving and exploring the island of Oahu. We eventually made our way to the campus and drove around to get a feel for it. It is a beautiful campus but smaller than I had anticipated. The landscape was beautiful and the ocean just across the street wasn't bad either. We were able to see the Hawaii Temple. To Annies disappointment it is closed until 2010. But the grounds were awesome and a great place to get some quiet which is Annies favorite thing next to hangin with her fam. Annie and I spent several days walking the beach and eating...yes...hamburgers by the pool. I confess I did not like Waikiki very much. Though it was not that busy, it was packed with hotels and shops. There would be no authentic Hawaiin experience in this location. In part of our "green" activities we found a beautiful beach on the other side of the island and made it a point to return the next day. Annie and I went ocean kayaking. We were pros until the very end when we got parallel to a wave and capsized. OK, the ocean there is VERY salty! Bob laid on a blanket under a large tree in the shade. He burnt anyway.

We flew to the big island of Hawaii and drove all the way around it...yes all the way around it. I can see why no one likes to vacation there. It was a giant island made up of black lava. On the Kona side of the island it was desolate. Bob was so excited to see this island but upon our return in his prayers he openly admits it was a disappointment by saying..."and thank you that we could arrive back safe from that big ugly island." I concur. The next day was great because Annie and I were able to go parasailing. She got to go up twice because there was a 25 year old Russian man that did not have a companion and it was a two seater. The ocean out that far and so high was so beautiful. I was a little disappointed that it took no skill. I cannot brag of bravery because it took none. Then the dreaded day of taking Annie to school came. She was nervous, I knew what was ahead for me emotionally. We arrived on campus at 3:00 to find that part of the campus had shut down early on freshman orientation...they said it was "Aloha Friday", which means we get to go home before all the freshman are organized. So we spent the rest of our precious two hours left and made sure she could eat, get into her room and paid her tuition. She would have to handle the rest all by herself. Saying goodbye was just as hard as the first time I had to do it with Jessica...it just never got easier. The hardest moment was when we were taking off. I felt the plane lift I knew I had left the land in which Annie would be living. It felt as though the umbilical cord was being severed for the last time. I was trying to suppress my silent sobs when at the very second the plane lifted off I got a text from her. This is what is said... "I love you so much. I am fine, all is well and I have full confidence that I will soar beautifully through the next few months". God does send his tender mercies at just the right moment. And now I am home and adjusting to an empty nest. So the truth is...it's not that bad. I am rather enjoying the quiet without worry of where my child is and when they will be home. Perhaps I will grow weary of the silence but for now I am doing better then expected...another tender mercy.

The mountain behind Annie is where the final battle for a united Hawaii took place. The opposing tribe was forced to the edge of these cliffs and they all fell to their deaths. History is gruesome sometimes.

Positive Communication in Marriage

2009-05-26T20:10:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I taught a lesson in our Spanish Branch from the Marriage and Family relations class. It was on Positive Communication in marriage. I shared an experience when my husband had come home from a priesthood meeting with an assignment to ask me what he was doing wrong and what he could do better as a husband and father. In my silent moment before I responded I thought back on all the times I thought my constructive criticism would motivate my husband to change. It never did. It gave him now two tasks. To change and to feel bad about himself. I quickly responded...'Nothing. You are perfect for me." Of course, none of us are perfect but we should not dwell on what we aren't. And with a spouse we feel turmoil about something we can do nothing about. I can love him and build him up. That I can do.

Brigham Young councils women on this subject. It can apply to both husband or wife.

"Were I a woman possessed of great powers of mind, filled with a wisdom, and, upon the whole, a magnanimous woman, and had been privileged with my choice, and had married a man...he not answering my expectations, and I being sorry that I made such a choice, let me show my wisdom by not complaining about it. By seeking to cast off her husband, by withdrawing her confidence and good will from him, she casts a dark shade upon his path, when, by pursuing a proper course of love, obedience, and encouragement, he might attain to the perfection she had anticipated in him."

I confess my approach may appear too unrealistic so I asked all the men in the room when criticism from their wives helped. Without exception they said "never". It is our nature, young and old alike...we improve with positive affirmation.

With that thought I need to share something with my son...

Brad, I neglected to share something with you the other night that needed to be shared. When we were in your home unpacking and you and I were organizing the food storage, I was filled with gratitude as I thought how lucky your children were to have a father that is first of all obedient to a prophets voice but even more importantly you are taking seriously the responsibility to preside, provide and protect your little family. Patience as a father will come because you want so much to be obedient. I could not be more proud. I love you.

Garden of Eden

2009-05-26T17:00:00.000-07:00

I went to the temple with my daughter-in-law, Lael, this morning. When I first met Lael, I found it was difficult to pronounce her name so I just called her Lilly. When things got a little more serious with Brad, I decided I was going to have to call her by her real name...and it has been so ever since. I came upon a thought about the decision of whom to marry after my husband had shared a story with me about a family that has all three of their kids struggling with life choices. If you choose a good man, dedicated to his faith you are a lucky woman but I don't believe it will have a large effect on their children's testimonies. However, a young man needs to take extreme care in whom he chooses for a wife for I believe the strength of a child's testimony in the Savior and his gospel is observed, taught and cemented in the strength of the mother. A good father provides, presides and protects. A good mother nurtures and at her knee her children will become resolved in their faith. I have nothing to fear for Kenedi, Cole and Chancy for they have a mother of such testimony.

Here are a few things I learned this morning in my study:

1. When God placed angels (cherabum) and flaming swords to guard the three of life I simply thought He did not want them to live forever in their sins (Alma 41:3). Yet in verse 4 he makes it clear that he was "granting time" to man to repent, "a probationary time, a time to repent and serve God." And though the two thoughts work in concert with each other it was an enhancement of my understanding.

2. Alma is counseling his son Shiblon. He is one of his youngest sons and though a great missionary he has a morality problem with a Lamanite girl by the name of Isabel. During Alma's interview with his son he perceives that Shiblon feels that "it is injustice that the sinner should be consigned to a state of misery (Alma 42:1)." Alma then explains the law of justice and the gift of mercy. Then he says in Alma 42:29 "let these things trouble you no more, and only let your sins trouble you, with that trouble which shall bring you down unto repentance. We distract ourselves from the real issue of sin by complaining about the doctrine that would, if we were obedient, take away our sin.

I love my family and hope that today you are all well...

Music that inspires

2009-05-25T09:06:00.000-07:00

I am grateful for those blessed with the gift of music and their willingness to share it. A great musician can play or sing a song and I will be unmoved but a musician that feels their music...it lifts my heart to heaven. My thanks to those that were inspired and shared in Reflections of Christ. It enhances my worship and I am so grateful.

Brad and Lael need a blog!

2009-05-24T11:35:00.000-07:00

By the way...I do have a son and daughter-in-law but they don't facebook or blog and so they are not a part of my contacts. I am going to need to get Lael convinced of such an activity so I can show off all my kids!

A new chapter for me...

2009-05-24T11:03:00.000-07:00

Annie graduated last Thursday (May 21st, 2009). She is the last of our children and in two weeks will be in Hawaii for school. After 31 years of raising children, my home will be empty of them. Because I have made great efforts to mentally and emotionally prepare myself for this inevitable day...I think I am going to be fine. Watching my children grow on their own far outweighs the sorrow of watching them leave. I wouldn't have it any other way. It is a tender mercy from God that there comes a defined moment for everyone to set out on their own. Both child and parent can feel and are sustained by it...even if it is hard at first.

So what is next for me. I have gone through all the logical thought processes and have come up with only one sure answer...I don't know. I do know this. God will reveal his hand to me if I am prepared to receive it. With so much more time for myself I am finding time to study and reflect. My private religious practices are improving and I am learning. As I shared these moments with my husband, he has reminded me that it serves only me if I don't write it down and share. And now you know the reason I created this blog. I have been terrible about writing in a journal. The idea of writing my daily thoughts and activities is just to personal and quite frankly mundane...but to make an effort everyday to learn and share what I've learned...I can do that. So on these pages I offer insights from my day. Much will come from my reflections while working in my garden, some will come as I listen and laugh with my family but most will come from my personal study time with the Savior. Truly, it is changing my life.